I don't usually do these question things but hey - don't knock it till you've tried it as the Ice Tea advert says... So the rules if you too want to be sucked into the "if you don't participate, you will never be rich" game
1. Leave me a comment saying 'interview me please'
2. I will respond by asking you five questions (not the same questions you see here)
3. You will update your blog/site with the answers to the questions
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

And without further ado - here were my 5...

Blogging question thing…

In the spirit of participation – here are my answers to the following questions (as supplied by the world renowned Rachel W):

1. If the world was inside out and you had to live on the inside, given that all books are made of oxo cubes and gravity had been outlawed years ago, which chocolate bar would you buy at lunch time
and why?

I always choose MARS – they are the perfect combination of sugar overload, chocolate endorphin rush and energy boost… I’d buy Mars bars even in a zero gravity inside / outside oxo cube library world and I’d still love em… Who can deny the guilty pleasure of a Mars, Coke and Crisps snack attack?
And I’m convinced that even now angels are happily munching on bars of chocolate coated glucose fluff topped with toffee…

2. Name your ideal cast for a film of the life of Cllr Desline Stewart, one-time mayor of Luton?

This is an interesting one – obviously Halle Berry is the immediate choice for the lead because she is practically identical in looks... So that’s a given. She would be supported by a battalion of Storm Troopers loaned out from the Emperor himself to play the rest of the Labour Party – efficient and no nonsense, and damn they look good smart in those white helmets... The populace of Luton would be played by a collection of super models with cameos by Tom Cruise (as the cheerful drunk bloke humming to himself on the steps of the Hat Factory) and of course Jennifer Garner as the Council Tea Lady who undertakes secret world saving missions when serving warm wet sustenance to the world’s best council – LBC!!

3. Should I hem my curtains above or below the windowsill?

Ah, trick question!! Only deviant child eating hillbillies hem their curtains below the windowsill (because it condemns the windowsill to a life of repression behind the veil)… And although I don’t know you very well Rach, I’m prepared to give you the benefit of the doubt that you wouldn’t eat my kids should you ever meet them… Which leads nicely to Q4…

4. Will you let your sons a) ride motorbikes, b) bungee jump, c) get their entire bodies tattooed, d) run the London Marathon backwards dressed as caterpillars and e) watch Bambi?

a) Motorbikes are cool, and boys will be boys so I won’t stand in their way should they want to go Easy Rider style.

b) They can bungee jump by all means, just not from a pikey travelling fair temporary rig… If you’re gonna do it try one of the wonders of the world like the Grand Canyon, Hanging Gardens of Babylon or Hitchin Market Square…

c) Tattooing your entire body is one I might advice against , only in that it must be unimaginably painful when the artist gets to your boy bits… And I’m not convinced that all body tattoos will still look good in later life, but having said that if someone like Sony offer to sponsor the tattoo and perhaps include tasteful Playstation branding (which will obviously lead to a lifetime of payments from the big S corp – it might be financially shrewd!?).

d) Funny you should ask but I have several friends who have been emotionally damaged by running the London Marathon backwards dressed as caterpillars and they are now living in a YMCA somewhere in deepest Walthamstow… It’s not funny actually, it’s dangerous and the second one I’d advise against – if you want to run the London Marathon then the least you can do is wear Star Wars costumes !!

e) Watch Bambi – they already have, several times… Great film although I fear they learnt more from Back to the Future, which we watched at the weekend (I didn’t remember there being language like “you bastard”, “holy shit” and “oh son of a bitch!” in it but there is…) Still great film!!

5. What is the strangest question you have ever been asked in a job interview and what was your answer?

Strangest question I can remember was: “A tragic event on ‘National Bring Your Pet To The office Day’ lead to a fire in the office, you are the last person out but you spot in one corner the company’s CEO trapped under a beam unconscious and in the other corner all the cute pets still in their travel cages… With time to only save the CEO or the pets but not both which do you choose?”
I’ll let you guess what my answer was but let’s just say that barbequed dog tastes a lot better than barbequed CEO…

So, there you go... /Matt stands back and waits for possible question requests in comment section...